When it rains, it pours.
Fighting some sort of stomach bug while on the road, my father is in the ICU for shortness of breath and fluid in the lungs. I cannot focus on work, although I have things to do. I have to get on an airplane to get home. I live 2500 miles from my parents. I cannot stop my mind from going to horrible places. I’m tired. I ache.
I’m kinda done with this shit….
Why me? I can’t do this? I have never done this before? I don’t know if I can? What if I fail?
Why me!? What were they thinking!? Why does it have to be so hard!? What the fuck is wrong with theses people!?
WHY ME!?!? What have I done to deserve this!?!? Why does everything have to be so hard for me!?!? Why did you put me here!?!? You said this would be good!?!? You knew I was going to fail, didn’t you!?!? DIDN’T YOU!?!?!
Why me…..? I’m never going to get anywhere, am I? I’m never going to be happy, am I? I’m going to be stuck here forever, aren’t I? Am I going to die like this….alone and miserable?
There is an adage that you hear from writers and writing professors that the best way to write is to just write, even so far as writing the word write X amount of times until you finally sort out the static in your head and begin to write something coherent.
Recent events have made me re-think how I communicate on the web and if I really need to participate with everyone else.
When everyone can see it, no one reads it.
When everyone cannot see it, no one reads it.
So why does any of it matter?
So I am going to write.
UPDATE: I have several draft posts from before I stopped posting that I am re-reading, editing and going to re-post. Don’t read into them too much 😉
Bill: What is the website where youn get your framed art from?
Jeff: (link TO HORRIFYING PORN SITE)
Primer: Jeff visited a year ago and convinced us to buy a puppy on a whim. We already had one dog. So now, he is on a mission to do the same thing every time he visits.
Jeff: I am going to bring presents for the doggies
Bill: cool, they’ll love to see you
Jeff: I’m basically Indy’s agent, she was on waivers and I got her signed to a 14 year contract
Bill: nice! good work
Jeff: they are having an adoption event at your Petco on 11/2 from 2-6. I’ll see if I can move my flight up
Jeff: we can’t break tradition Bill. there must be puppies
Bill: no more puppies Jeff….
Jeff: oh yes Bill, there WILL be puppies. you need a nice dobie to balance out the other 2. maybe we could mix things up, get you a Serval
Bill: no Jeff, that would only lead to bad things
Jeff: you’re right, let’s just play it by ear. but I think we can agree that by saturday evening you will have a new pet
Bill: No Jeff
Jeff: two new pets? how about a Lemur
Bill: no Jeff
Jeff: these guys are near you and they breed Lemurs: http://castleberrysafari.com/lemur/
let me know what time we are going to the brewery and I will schedule a visit around that
Jeff: #howaboutacoatimundi. honestly I am just excited to go pet shopping. i love pet shopping
Jeff: you know you can own a Kangaroo in your state?
Bill: no, but now I know
Jeff: like, how can you not act on that?
Bill: that is a good question…..right off the top of my head I would say that my HOA won’t allow the extended fence height
Jeff: lower your lawn. done
Bill: I….I can’t…..I can’t argue with that logic
Jeff: you could fill the pouch with ice and beer in the summer probably
i am starting to like your state
Bill: I bet you are LOVING the UI and design of that site
Jeff: i had to close the tab. i know that it exists and that we can get a kangaroo there, that is enough. if we go to dallas we should go there and pet a kangaroo. for science
Jeff: sing along with the words!
“If you’re in Texas, the thing to do”
Bill: no jeff
“Is take your pal to see a Kangaroo!”
“If you own a nice home in the south”
“Buy a Kangaroo to live in your house!”
“The perfect two, you and Roo”
“So many wonderful things to do”
“Watch some tv on your couch!”
“Or store your beer inside it’s pouch”
“They’re great with dogs, they have cool claws”
“To make sure your neighbors obey the laws”
“And if a stranger comes in your house”
“Roo can knock his black ass out! (*the lyrics of this song do not represent the views of this corporation)”
“So now you all know what to do”
“Drive on home and buy a Roo!”
Jeff: mind = blown
Bill: do share
Jeff: “Develop understanding and insights by building robust empathy with clients across key vectors needed to fuel innovation”
Bill: ow ow ow ow ow
why did you make me read that?!?!?!?!
Jeff: I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD TAKE SOME OF THE PAIN AWAY BUT IT’S NOT WORKING AT ALL
Bill: that’s like reading a page from the Necronomicon…..
where did you get that from?
Jeff: an email I just got from someone on our data science team who attended a “innovation training session”
Bill: have you fired them for harassment yet?
Jeff: I am too preoccupied with trying to find the materials necessary to exorcize my laptop
Bill: because that is verbal, physical and sexual harassment right there
You’ll need an Old priest and young priest
something borrowed, something blue…..wait….no….that’s for a marriage
Jeff: yeah and make one Buddhist or something
Bill: don’t you need a baboon to hold it up to the rising sun as well?
Jeff: that way they can synergize on cross-denominational faithisms and marginalize the web 4.0 “best of breed” methodologies needed to ideate the best go-to-market strategy
Bill: GOD DAMMIT JEFF!!!
Jeff: MY FUCKING EYES!!!
Bill: BURN IT WITH FIRE!!!
Jeff : so ghostbusters 3 is a thing…without Murray or Ramis…or Reitman directing, as he has left the project
Bill : it’s gonna be 2 hours of akroyd yelliing about government conspiracies
Jeff : and drinking crystal skull vodka
they said the script doesn’t contain anything for Murray because he was difficult to reach
Jeff : so it was mostly penned by Akroyd and Reitman
I see potential for this project
we could get Guillermo del Torro to direct now
so the ghosts would be pretty epic, but the rest of the story would be pretty flat
or we can get Christopher Nolan to direct, reboot the series, make it dark and gritty
make them paranormal soldiers fighting the first wave of a supernatural war
Bill : oh, oh…..do Abrams now!!!
Jeff :Abrams would reboot the series where a future Peter comes back in time to try and warn the younger versions of themselves about a demon they encounter that kills the team and opens the mortal realm to the horrors of its dimension
Abrams would keep some of the comedic elements of the originals while also giving the series a more action-oriented, dramatic flavor
Bill : Joss Whedon
Jeff : Joss would set the series closest to the original, with the lighthearted humor that made the first film so successful. He would introduce at least 2 love interests into the team, and I believe one of the Ghostbusters would be female. He would also employ a plot on a far grander scale, with a supernatural enemy that actually is killing people or worse rather than representing some existential dominance scenario
The ghostbusters would also likely exist outside of societal norms, rather than the celebrity status they enjoyed in the first 2 films (though he may lead them into celebrity to introduce the issues it causes them in the next film)
Bill : i <3 you
Jeff : 😉
Bill : Speilberg!
Jeff : Speilberg would likely go with Akroyd and Murray, portraying them in their retirement. The death of Egon would reunite them after a long period of estrangement. At the funeral, a curator of a museum would beg them for help as his daughter has been posessed by an ancient artifact of some sort.
The film would take some heavy judeo-christian undertones, addressing demons and angels rather thank the odd ghosts from the first 2 films
There would still be a fair amount of laughs, with some of the corny nature of the first 2 films
Saving the girl would galvanize the two, making them realize the need for their expertise, which would result with the formation of a new team under their leadership, setting the stage for future films
*care would need to be taken to ensure that a) no fucking aliens AND b) Lucas isn’t made aware of the project until after it has finished editing
Bill : LOL!!!!
I sit here at my desk, angry at the lack of professionalism of a multi national multi billion dollar company. I wallow in my own first world self pity, laughing at it ironically the whole time.
I dream of the landscapes of Blade Runner, The Matrix, Fight Club and Mad Max and wonder when it will all come to pass. Or will it at all?
I read the news about the nihilism of modern media, the corruption of modern politics, the destruction by modern corporations, the expanse of the poor, the ineptitude and delusions of the rich and the destruction of the middle class….and I don’t do a damn thing. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer and the corporation has the same rights as a man.
I want more than what I have but I don’t want to work for it. I am the epitome of the self entitled person. I want to lead the revolution…..but I can’t forget to pay the rent and I need to pay off my credit card debt. I want to live in the wide open spaces of the mid west; I want to live in the heart of the city; I want to live on the beach with my dog who can catch a frisbee.
A pain in the ass colleague just walked up and totally killed my concentration…..
I require data to do my current job. If you do not provide me with accurate data or you do not allow me to gather the data necessary, I cannot do my job successfully.
Do not ask me to do my job without the data, as you won’t actually get what you were promised. You will in fact get garbage.
And when everything blows up in our collective faces, do not pile all the blame on me….you will be just as guilty for not providing me or allowing me to gather the data I needed to perform the job you asked me to do.