This Idea Has…..Ferret….

Jeff: so are you still planning on coming up in 2 weeks?

Bill: lol
i’ll be returning from Europe in 2 weeks

Jeff: otherwise I need to figure out what to do with all of these ferrets

Bill: ROFL

when do you leave?

Bill: Friday

Jeff: now I have to invent something powered by ferrets
they’re not puppies bill
you can’t just dump Cambodian breast milk all over them and produce fusion

Bill: what about thai baby formula?

Jeff: shipping would kill me

Bill: hmmmmm
Chinese knockoff gerber baby food?

Jeff: i wonder if I could safely distribute my weight over 1000 ferrets

Bill: how close together would they be?

Jeff: ferrets have a innate sense of personal space, so maybe 3″

Bill: would they just be really close to each other or physically attached

Jeff: i would have to make a massive harness

Bill: hmmm….that might not work….without some gorilla glue

Jeff: also their ground speed isn’t high enough for highway travel

Bill: even multiplied by 1000?

Jeff: i could take surface streets though

Bill: the commute on surface streets would be enjoyable

Jeff: i could steer them with an old sneaker
ferrets go fucking bonkers for old sneakers

Bill: and big toes….
i ferret sat one for Nili’s buddy Steve….fucking thing kept biting my toe when I let it out

Jeff: i think I have a way to create a contained perpetual energy system with them
each ferret will be placed in a clear sphere connecting to a number of actuators

Bill: i’d be interested in the investment opportunities of this idea of yours

Jeff: a series of cables will carry old shoes throughout the facility, causing them to move around and thus generate electricity
a couple times a day a small tube will inject pressurized water into the spheres containing fire ants
the insuing conflict would generate massive amounts of power, and the ferrets will eventually eat the ants
waste will be sucked out of the sphere and used to feet the ant colony

Bill: that is more of a self contained system as opposed to a perpetual motion system
but the idea has……ferrets……!!!

Jeff: not perpetual motion, just a contained energy system
i bet one ferret cube could power at least 100 homes

Bill: how many ferrets in a ferret cube?

Jeff: let’s say 1000
so startup costs would be the animals, ant colonies, and the machinery itself

Bill: so with the 1000 ferrets you currently have and some seed money, you could technically power your town?

Jeff: automation should minimize staff

Bill: more or less

Jeff: yeah pretty much

Bill: there is the shaws down the street
what kind of ferret attrition rate are you expecting?

Jeff: i would expect 1-5 deaths per month

Bill: and what kind of fire ant containment procedures do you ahve on draft?

Jeff: easy way around that is to connect random male and female pods once a day

Bill: but then you’d have to remove the females during gestation so as not to hurt them and the young
so you have to take that into account

Jeff: oh, and a bunch of old sneakers

Bill: i like this idea

Jeff: yeah the breeding algorithm would need to evolve over time to minimize impact without endangering the population

Jeff: and fire ants are dumb, they emit a chemical signal that the colony is in danger so they all come running
at injection time we just release the chemical in the collection area and suck them into the water injection system

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