Archive for category Humor
Cooking with R&R: The College Years
I would say that my college years were not the best time for my culinary training. Institutionalized food and greasy burger joints do not a taste bud make. However, there are still some dishes that bring back memories of better, less stressful times. Here are two examples.
I never actually made this but I did have the pleasure of trying it: The Garbage Plate
It’s a Rochester favorite and is highly recommended to be consumed between the hours of 2am and 4am after some heavy drinking.
And then there is
Train Wreck
When in college I was a member of a fraternity. As part of the membership ‘privileges’, every Saturday morning before our noon house meeting we would clean the house. No, really, we did clean ….stop laughing…seriously STOP laughing!
As payment for doing this, lunch was made for all the members. Most of the time (re: ALL of the time) it consisted of a ‘goulash’ type dish that was lovingly dubbed Train Wreck. I contacted one of the brothers who was the Steward at the time I was there and thus in charge of creating this culinary masterpiece for us while we slaved away our hangovers trying to clean (SERIOUSLY, STOP LAUGHING!!!). So without further ado, i present to you the recipe for Train Wreck, compiled in its entirety by Nili Monster, aka Mostu:
Read the rest of this entry »
Some Video Awesomeness
I wish this happened at my office:
http://view.break.com/521743 – Watch more free videos
I saw Iron Man and Hulk this weekend. After I got home, Spiderman was on TBS. A bit weird that I would stumble across this video about all three of them today:
This is what goes on in My Head
I walked into the bathroom at the office and was immediately assaulted by the smell of Oranges.
At first I thought “I wonder why it smells like oranges?”
And I thought “Well, at least it is better than smelling shit.”
And then I thought “Although, I do feel bad for the guy shitting oranges!”
Like Sands through the Hour Glass, my thoughts will trap you beneath their weight and slowly smother the life out of you…..
Do Robots Dream of Electric Sheep?
That was the title to the Philip K. Dick short story that the Ridley Scott Classic Blade Runner was based on.
I do not if it is true or not, but I do know that when I doze off on the train, I dream of food. All kinds of food. Imagine the most delicious pizza…I have, and in the process of taking a bite of this imaginary culinary delight, I have bit down on my cheek so hard I have drawn blood.
I dreamt once of this magnificent sandwich….probably the most delicious thing imaginable. I grasped it in my hands, proceeded to lean forward preparing to take a bite. It reaches my mouth and then BAM! The most unbelievable pain that startles me awake from my sleep on the train. I had bitten the side of my tongue with so much gusto that, after surveying the damage with my finger, it returned coated in blood.
So the other day, using what I have now determined is images from a previous night’s Iron Chef America, I began dreaming of ravioli. There were a few in this dish. Each with a green strip down the middle, plump with ricotta cheese, hot, steamy and covered in a delicious looking alfredo sauce. Absolutely beautiful. All of the sudden, one of the ravioli speaks! In this deep, baritone, Barry White voice, it says to the ravioli right next to it;
“You are one fine lookin’ delicious ravioli”.
And here I am, observing this scene, thinking to myself ‘THAT IS a mighty fine lookin’ ravioli’. I then begin to lean in for a bite. I get closer and closer and begin to realize that I am in hazy area between a light nap and alertness. I can feel myself smacking my lips in anticipation and since I am leaning forward, I have almost reached the back of the seat in front of me. Finally my brain tells me ‘WAKE UP IDIOT!’ and I do. Looking around….I hope no one has seen me do this and thankfully no one had.
Once I realized what had happened, I lean over to the Wife and tell her the whole story. She laughs the kind of laugh that, if you get a woman to laugh like this, they will marry you.
I have come to the conclusion that this two hour commute is stripping me of my last bit of sanity. And if I don’t do something about it soon, well there might not be much left of me to recognize.
Do Your Part
Save an Endangered Species Today
The Geek Hierarchy
As seen Here
At least I am near the TOP of the food chain…..
Do you Know this Rodent?
Posted by RnR in Day to Day, Humor, Random on May 21, 2008 1:27 pm
Because I do!!! Him and I had some words this morning between the wee hours of 2:30am and 3:30am…multiple times.
It starts out by the Wife and I hearing the garbage can being pushed across the driveway. Not just knocked over, but PUSHED across the driveway for a good five minutes before it gets knocked over. I get up, grab the flashlight, put on some shorts and a sweatshirt and take a look outside. There lies the garbage can…10 feet from where it should be, next to my car, tipped over and top off. The backside of Ricky Raccoon scurrying away. Damnit!
I walk over and the damage isn’t too bad. A small bag of papers is ripped a bit open but no mess made. I pick up the lid and the can and bring it back over to where it should be. I secure the lid on it and go back inside.
I proceed to walk upstairs, get undressed and wash my hands before getting back in bed.
No more than five minutes after I am in bed, we here the ‘SCRUNCH, SCRUNCH‘ of the can being dragged again. Mutha Fu….!!!
Up and dressed again. This time with flashlight and Louisville Slugger in hand. I open the back door and walk outside to see the can knocked over again with it’s top off. Still close to the house this time. I scan the yard for the little shit rodent and there it is. In the neighbors yard just on the other side of the post fence…staring right at me. By this point The Wife has opened the window above me and is looking out as well. She sees it as well and tells me. The damn thing then proceeds to begin WALKING BACK TOWARDS ME!!! All nonchalant and what not. It stops by the corner of the car (where it had dragged the can last time). It looks at me and then begins walking towards me some more! So I charge at it, waving the bat and making some noise (some sight by the way…half naked and half asleep) and the thing scurries off. I pick up the can again, this time moving the recycling bin and the small doggie doo trash can in front of it as well. When I walk back inside, I leave the back light on as The Wife suggests thinking that it will help deter our little Midnight Marauder.
Back upstairs, clothes back off, hands washed and back in bed.
‘SCRUNCH, SCRUNCH, THUMP’
GOD DAMNIT!!!
This time I just go out there with shorts on, and mag light in hand. The can is on it’s side and is rocking back and forth cause the little fucker is INSIDE the damn thing! I start yelling ‘GIT GIT GIT’ and it scurries out and heads toward the car again. I grab the snow shovel (which stands next to the trash can) and move towards the car. I proceed to slide the shovel under the car making a bit of a racket myself trying to scare the damn thing away. I back away a few feet and get down on my hands and knees to check under the car. Nothing. Ran off again.
I walk over to the can and notice that it knocked over the doggie doo can as well (thankfully everything is individually wrapped and nothing spilled out…is that TMI???). Nothing spilled out of the trash can this time, but it had torn the bag up a bit more. I pick everything up and proceed to make a bit of an obstacle course. I put the garbage can in the corner by the stars, the recycle bin open side up in front of it, the doggie doo can next to it on the other side and lay the shovels against it so that if anything falls, OH WHAT A RUCKUS SHALL BE MADE!!!
Inside. Clothes off. Hands washed. Into bed.
I make a comment to my wife that I wish I had a gun. She says “a bee bee gun?” No I say, a real one. She says excitedly “yeah, with a silencer!” and proceeds to make the noise of a silenced weapon. I think about it and tell her that, knowing my luck, I would have taken a shot at it that would have missed, ricocheted off the asphalt and proceeded to blow out one of my tires or put a hole in the gas tank of the car. She laughed and said I was probably right.
Thankfully that was the end of the visits for the morning. Unfortunately, it was now 3:30am and our alarm is set for 4:30am. Hooray for 1 hour of sleep!! 30 minutes if you count how long it took to fall back asleep.
I hate suburbia.
UPDATE: The Wife reminded me of something I missed. After the second incident she suggested getting the can of Glade air freshener out of the bathroom a spraying everything in the area with it. Her thinking was that maybe the smell would also help top keep the rodent away. I decided against it. But after the third time, well….let’s just say that this weekend we’ll need to hit Target for a new can of Glade and that the trash can, doggie poo can, the recycling bin, and the two snow shovels all have the refreshing smells of summer ferns and lavender. AND the damn thing didn’t return.
ALL HAIL OUR ROBOT MASTERS
RP, a glimpse of our future shall become available soon.
UPDATE: It might have already started!!!