Funny Article from Gizmodo about the LHC, which was supposed to startup yesterday but apparently got postponed. The To-do List is classic!
– First, give a long hug to all my friends.
– Learn to sail.
– Fish a salmon and eat the whole thing as sashimi.
– Call Addy and tell her I love her.
– Call Ana, my first wife, and tell her that she’s still a damn lying bitch with a fat ass.
– Get in bed with the hot, big-boobed Swedish bartender in front of me—I’m in a cafe in Hunnebo, Sweden, right now.
– Get the hot Swedish waitress in bed too—trust me, I have reasons for this.
– Steal the Harley parked outside the café and drive at 125MPH to Gothenburg’s airport.
– Buy first class tickets to Los Angeles on the company’s card—don’t worry Nick, you won’t have to pay for that. It’s the end of the world.
– Find Uma Thurman address.
– Get her naked.
– Post pictures in Gizmodo.
– Get in bed with Uma and the two Swedes (yes, they came with me—the trip to Miami is too long).
– Steal a supersonic jet.
– Fly to Cupertino.
– Break into Apple’s secret vault with the help of the two Swedes—by their looks, they have to be ninjas—and Uma dressed with her Kill Bill yellow suit.
– Have sex with the two Swedes, Uma, and Steve Jobs.
– Have Jason liveblog the whole thing while Brian takes pictures.
– Burn the secret vault.
– Watch the whole campus burn while listening to Tom Waits, having a six-hand massage, drinking margaritas, waiting for the whole universe to implode.