In the past several years, many factors have coalesced at the same time continuously to make me apprehensive to the holiday season. A bit of work, a bit of family, a bunch of the blatant materialism. It becomes tiring. Add to that dealing with the general air of entitlement and grumpiness displayed by others, it just makes me want to hole up in my apartment and come back out sometime in March.
What happened to just getting together for food and spirits; eating, laughing and drinking; making merriment?
I don’t know how to find a solution to it. On the one hand, I’d like nothing more then to tell everyone to go take a long walk off a short pier. However, they’ll end up taking it personally. On the other hand, I can bust my ass to make everyone happy. Unfortunately, none of them will be, as I doubt any of them can be happy with my effort and can only find happiness in what they want FROM me. This leads to a reiteration of the sleeping until March idea….but then they’d be mad at me for not calling.
I’m mostly just rambling, and letting this all out in “stream of conscious”.
I really just wish I didn’t feel so miserable during this time of the year anymore….
#1 by Monstu on November 24, 2009 5:49 pm - 5:49 pm
Time to make a change my friend. Lead the charge. Take the reigns. Have the holidays at your place and set ground rules about behavior. Give to charity in the name of your friends and family instead of gifts. Make the holiday season into something you can enjoy again. It might take a few years of persistent effort. Telling your loved ones you don’t want gifts and or guff. Be firm but loving, like training a dog (but no rolled up newspapers!). You, my friend can change the world. I’ve been on this path for a while and although it isn’t perfect, I feel empowered and I have embraced the challenge. The holidays are not of avoiding all the crap any more, they are for handing out some crap of my own (in the nicest possible way). Good luck buddy.
WARNING: Taking advise from someone called Monstu can have unpredictable results. Your mileage may vary. Offer void in some states. Do not take with mood altering drugs (except alcohol, caffeine and chocolate). If you have a reaction while taking advice flush the inflamed area with clean water for 15 minutes and seek medical attention.
#2 by The Wife on November 24, 2009 11:38 pm - 11:38 pm
Montsu has a point. I second his advice! Who’s with us?!
…..and if that doesn’t work, a good grudge fk might just get that agression out. 😛
#3 by dubya dubya 3 on November 26, 2009 4:19 am - 4:19 am
I don’t know Monstu, but I have embraced his philosophy this year. No longer are we going to play tug-of-war for who gets us for Thanksgiving this year. We’re not going to Elsies’ because we know exactly how everyone will behave and it’s not for us. So we’ll see them when we see them, we’re setting our schedule and plans this year.
#4 by Rich on December 4, 2009 10:32 am - 10:32 am
I don’t know dubya dubya 3 but thats what the wife and I did this year too. I want to see family, and I want to have a limited stress holiday. When those to goals interfere with each other, internal family comes first, the others can wait till next time.
#5 by RnR on December 4, 2009 10:34 am - 10:34 am
Introductions:
Monstu and Rich are college buddies of mine. Both are engineers with minors in ‘Breaking Bill’s Balls Incessantly’. Both of them EXCEL in their minor….
Dubya Dubya 3 is a cousin of the Wife.
Now we’re all friends!
#6 by RnR on December 4, 2009 10:45 am - 10:45 am
I’ve been meaning to respond to this, but have been forgetful.
Monstu, although I applaud your idea, it’s not for me. Although I could change the minds of folks to understand why I choose to do that, I’d have better luck building my own spaceship, flying to Mars, and terraforming the planet by myself!
I do not necessarily mind the materialism so much as the blatant consumerism that has gripped the season. I enjoy giving and receiving presents, but I hate the fact that big business uses it as a reason to assault us with multimedia. I know it’s Christmas, I don’t need some idiots in a Best Buy commercial singing bastardized versions of carols telling me.
And for some reason, i always end up receiving the brunt of ‘this time is for family’ bullshit. I know it’s for family, I don’t need to be reminded of that as well. Let ME decide how I will spend that time and please appreciate that fact that I am doing it. I don’t want a damn parade to be appreciated, but their trust that I am making these decisions to benefit everyone.