This will be the one and only time I am going to bitch about my recent decision to ‘go with the flow’. However, less than 24 hours into it, I am already pissed off about it.
You have to understand that the social system I came from consciously chooses to keep itself all wrapped up in the safety of it’s own ignorance. A refusal to open it’s eyes to the fact that there are 6 billion other humans in the world, and that they are not the center of it. It is an unfortunate side affect of being on this continent. A side effect of the freedom that we have all taken for granted. But, I digress.
What really pisses me off is that underlying resentment I feel directed at me for leaving this system (out of choice) from many of those still in the system. They don’t resent the fact that I left, they resent the fact that I do not return. This isn’t jealousy of what I have or envy of what I have done, but anger that I had the audacity to do it. Anger at the fact that I left them! That I have left them to fend for themselves and care nothing for them anymore.
Of course non of this is true, I care about them more now then ever before, because I realize how good they all have it and how much they are squandering it away…whether they realize it or not.
But this anger from them has clouded their image of me. They now think that because I have left, my decisions are no longer my own. That without their protection, I was taken in by others who wanted nothing good for me and wanted to use me. But then, they cannot understand the reason why some one would choose to leave in the first place, so why would they then think that same person would be capable of making any decisions on their own anyway.
I now realize why I always went left when the crowd went right. Following the crowd leads to nowhere I want to go, because following the crowd takes no effort and no thought. Following the crowd leaves no room for being yourself.
EDIT: A fitting quote.
The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you’re inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.