Archive for category Rant
When it rains, it pours.
Fighting some sort of stomach bug while on the road, my father is in the ICU for shortness of breath and fluid in the lungs. I cannot focus on work, although I have things to do. I have to get on an airplane to get home. I live 2500 miles from my parents. I cannot stop my mind from going to horrible places. I’m tired. I ache.
I’m kinda done with this shit….
I sit here at my desk, angry at the lack of professionalism of a multi national multi billion dollar company. I wallow in my own first world self pity, laughing at it ironically the whole time.
I dream of the landscapes of Blade Runner, The Matrix, Fight Club and Mad Max and wonder when it will all come to pass. Or will it at all?
I read the news about the nihilism of modern media, the corruption of modern politics, the destruction by modern corporations, the expanse of the poor, the ineptitude and delusions of the rich and the destruction of the middle class….and I don’t do a damn thing. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer and the corporation has the same rights as a man.
I want more than what I have but I don’t want to work for it. I am the epitome of the self entitled person. I want to lead the revolution…..but I can’t forget to pay the rent and I need to pay off my credit card debt. I want to live in the wide open spaces of the mid west; I want to live in the heart of the city; I want to live on the beach with my dog who can catch a frisbee.
A pain in the ass colleague just walked up and totally killed my concentration…..
New Hotel. They seem to barely ‘phone it in’ at this one, but the price is close to double.
Horrible ‘free’ breakfast. Once again, see above. Free breakfast voucher didn’t include tip. That seems very odd.
Although hotel is in downtown, unlike the last place, no cabs wait here. So 20 minute wait in the cold for a cab to arrive. He then dropped me off at the wrong spot. Awesome….should have just walked.
Apparently I ‘Hulked Out’ again, and found a rip in my shirt sleeve by the elbow.
Only upside was that the internet wasn’t acting like it was 1995. I hope it holds out.
Shitty Days Are Shitty….
Update: So much for the internet….but on a really good note, the Wife left a card in my bag, which I found when I got back to the room and it brought a smile to my face and made the crap all go away. I Love her so much! 😉
1.) Because all the people that need something are working while all the people that can approve things are on month long vacations.
2.) I know everything is global now, but seriously, for a mostly US based company doing business in the last 2 weeks of December or the first two weeks of January is a waste of time.
3.) #2 does not apply to retail. If you are in retail, then may god have mercy on your soul during November/December/January
4.) Work stress + Holiday stress = Your Mugshot on CNN Headline News
5.) Who the hell in their right mind starts someone on a new job during this period when half the month is taken up by office parties and vacations?
Listen, Windows 7 is huge change from Vista. The UI is different, the code is different, it is just a better operating system.
If you are going to commit to upgrading to it from Vista, after bashing Vista and pestering me about an upgrade, don’t come to me two days later saying you don’t like the UI, and that you liked the way Vista handled it better. Deal with it. Learn it. Because the worst thing you can do IF YOUR JOB IS TO CONVINCE OTHERS TO USE IT is show that you don’t like the way it works.
That’s like working for Car Company X but owning and driving a car from their competitor Car Company Y.
(this was from Monday)
The Embrace of Pain is a Yuuzhan Vong device that tests your worthiness through the use of extreme pain. I believe that the person who came up with that fictional idea worked as a cabin designer for American Airlines.
One of the many reasons I dislike flying American is the fact that the coach seats were desgned to hold children, not adults. I am currently squished into a middle seat, with the person in front of me fully reclined into my lap. Both elbows are on padding less arm rests and have been aching since 30 minutes into the flight. My legs are cramped and my ass is asleep.
If you haven’t already guessed, I LOVE flying…
(Warning: This is Warcraft post. You have been warned.)
I play a priest. As the name suggests, it is known primarily as a healing class in the game. The class is capable of some serious damage, thanks to changes to the damage spec after the release of the first expansion to the game, but for the most part priest = healer.
I hate healing. Absolutely despise it. The only reason I play this class is because my friends told me when I started that the class was in ‘high demand’. To that I say ‘BULLSHIT’. It was only in demand at the level cap (60 at the time) and it took FOREVER to get to the level cap, due to the fact that I could only wear cloth armor and was no good against multiple enemy targets. By that time I did reach the level cap, most of them had moved onto another guild, and were so far ahead of me content wise that I had no hope of catching up.
So I joined a series of ‘second string’ guilds. Basically those guilds that were one or two progression steps behind the cutting edge guilds on the server. And I got pigeon-holed as a healer. But I wasn’t alone, misery LOVES company and I suffered through it with others. This due to the fact that the old style 40 man raids required multiple healers, sometimes as many as 6-8 of them. So I was part of a mixed team of healers that assisted the entire raid. And it was fun. I got some gear, I stayed up late, I saw the content.
By the time the first expansion hit (The Burning Crusade), I had stumbled onto another server and started playing with colleagues from my job at that time. There I was still a priest, but a damage dealing priest….a Shadow Priest! (spooooky!) I HAD A BLAST!! Aside from the occasional ‘we need help healing, don’t do damage’, I got to kill things. Oh how glorious it was! I had two things to worry about; myself and the target. No one blaming me for wiping the group, no one complaining that I did not heal enough, just me and the target. I continued that course all the way through the beginning content of that expansion and into the content of the newest expansion (Wrath of the Lich King). More fun was had, more late nights (by this point I was playing on a server based in the Mountain Time Zone), more gear won, more content seen.
That brings us to now. I have a decently geared priest. My priest has the ability, thanks to an in game mechanic, to quickly change between damage and healing specs. I also have the gear that benefits both specs, so that I can be geared correctly for each. Thus making me more versatile, and truly in demand. Unless of course one hates healing, which I do.
Last evening, while online with a friend, we got pulled into a 10 man raid. If you look at it this way, a 10 man raid is essentially a tier 2 raid (out of 3). So it is middle of the road, hard enough that you cannot sleep through it, but not so hard that you spend six hours banging your head against the keyboard fighting one guy.
We had some hiccups, we died a few times. And of course, I and the one other healer get the blame. Not the tank that couldn’t keep the target focused on him, not the DPS (straight damage folks) that couldn’t pump out enough damage to kill the guy quickly. Nope, the healers…one charged with keeping the tank alive, and the other (me) charged with keeping the OTHER 9 players alive. The only reason I didn’t tell the douche bag that was leading the group and calling me out for not healing enough to go have intercourse with the closest four legged creature was my friend telling me to just stick it out.
The little shit also had the nerve to post Over-healing numbers to try and prove his point. Basically, over-healing is just that, healing targets that don’t need it, thus wasting resources. So the LESS the you over-heal, the MORE EFFICIENT you actually heal. This jackass had it backwards and was praising the guy healing just the main tank and blaming me, the guy who was in charge of everyone else, for all of us dying. I’d also like to mention that even AFTER the main tank died, I continued to heal the next target in line to try and take the guy down…while this little shit ran for the door.
We did eventually pull through, only AFTER a new tank that actually KNEW how to tank came on board.
This isn’t unheard of in the game, and this is one of the reasons why there is such a high demand for priests…no one wants to play them because it is ALWAYS their fault if the shit hits the fan. No one enjoys being the whipping boy.
I am not saying that I am the best healer, I know that there are better ones out there. Situations like this don’t make me WANT to become better at it though. Why waste my time, if no matter what, I will either always be at fault or never even acknowledged. Rarely if ever do you hear “hey so and so, great healing there!”. Nope, you get reamed if everyone dies or ignored if everything goes well. All this does is make me not want to do it at all and tell folks that ask if I heal that I only DPS (deal damage).
You may ask why I am even bitching about this. It’s a game. It’s little pixels transferred over the internet. The fact of the matter is that I do this to relax and for my enjoyment, and to have some random shit break my balls using incorrect data and no understanding of what my class does pisses me off. So I needed to rant and get it off my chest.
It’s also part of my writing plan, and I warned you didn’t I. 😉
This will be the one and only time I am going to bitch about my recent decision to ‘go with the flow’. However, less than 24 hours into it, I am already pissed off about it.
You have to understand that the social system I came from consciously chooses to keep itself all wrapped up in the safety of it’s own ignorance. A refusal to open it’s eyes to the fact that there are 6 billion other humans in the world, and that they are not the center of it. It is an unfortunate side affect of being on this continent. A side effect of the freedom that we have all taken for granted. But, I digress.
What really pisses me off is that underlying resentment I feel directed at me for leaving this system (out of choice) from many of those still in the system. They don’t resent the fact that I left, they resent the fact that I do not return. This isn’t jealousy of what I have or envy of what I have done, but anger that I had the audacity to do it. Anger at the fact that I left them! That I have left them to fend for themselves and care nothing for them anymore.
Of course non of this is true, I care about them more now then ever before, because I realize how good they all have it and how much they are squandering it away…whether they realize it or not.
But this anger from them has clouded their image of me. They now think that because I have left, my decisions are no longer my own. That without their protection, I was taken in by others who wanted nothing good for me and wanted to use me. But then, they cannot understand the reason why some one would choose to leave in the first place, so why would they then think that same person would be capable of making any decisions on their own anyway.
I now realize why I always went left when the crowd went right. Following the crowd leads to nowhere I want to go, because following the crowd takes no effort and no thought. Following the crowd leaves no room for being yourself.
EDIT: A fitting quote.
The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you’re inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.
I am not saying his name nor linking to any coverage because he DOES NOT DESERVE THIS!
This fiasco is exactly what he wanted, thinking he was some kind of royalty, when in actuality, he was just a talented kid who got lucky with fame.
Just bury the guy and let folks remember him in their own quiet ways.
He didn’t change the world, he just made A LOT of fucking money….then pissed it all away.
That’s the problem with the world today, there are no more heroes. Just the rich and famous. And those folks are too stupid and crazy to be allowed to have that kind of money and power.
I had a lot more venom in the original writing of this post, but like the title says…he does not deserve it.